Headlines From An Alternate 2025 In Which Kamala Harris Is President
Have you ever wondered what 2025 would have been like if Kamala Harris won the White House instead of Donald Trump? Here’s a glimpse of the year’s news from a parallel universe…
JANUARY 4, 2025
OpenAI CEO Sam Altman Tapped To Run ‘Department Of Government Equity’ (DOGE)
The Democratic billionaire plans to lay off thousands of federal employees in order to provide more opportunities for bots.
FEBRUARY 13, 2025
Left-Wing Influencers Receive Epstein Files In White Binders
The White House says the recipients will post brief summaries on social media after reviewing the material.
MARCH 1, 2025
President Harris Gently Breaks Bad News To Zelenskyy
“I’m so sorry, but we need to give all of our money to Israel right now,” Harris told the leader of Ukraine.
APRIL 8, 2025
Harris Slaps China With 245% Tariff For Questioning Her Status As The First Asian-American President
Xi Jinping makes a move he immediately regrets.
MAY 2, 2025
Homeland Secretary Bill Di Blasio Offers Free Happy Meal To Anyone Who Gets A REAL ID
“Sure, you can fly with a passport, but you’ll be missing out,” Di Blasio said.
JULY 18, 2025
Health Secretary Peter Hotez Links Myocarditis, Strokes, And Anaphylactic Shock To Tylenol
“We’ve finally put our finger on what’s causing all these conditions,” Hotez said.
AUGUST 14, 2025
Justice Department Unveils Eco-Friendly Prison, ‘Green Alcatraz’
The new detention center is sustainably built and provides opportunities for inmates to connect with nature.
OCTOBER 17, 2025
Harris Deploys National Guard In Response To Massive ‘No Queens’ Protests
The president has declared MAGA a terrorist organization, calling for federal troops in every small town in America.
NOVEMBER 30, 2025
U.S. Invades Venezuela After Intelligence Chief Hunter Biden Sniffs Out Hidden Drugs In The Region
“We’re going to get to the bottom of this,” Biden said.
DECEMBER 25, 2025
U.S., Canada, Mexico, and Greenland To Merge And Become One Open-Border Melting Pot
The President lays out a vision for a unified North America under her leadership.
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So, not much difference, except for the names 🤣
Thanks again, NOEL! Different faces, same Deck of Cards. My favorite is the Alligator!