Seashell Message From Bill Gates Causes A Stir Among Global Population

U.S. NEWS — In a stunning display of seashells that makes the work of James Comey look like child’s play, billionaire-philanthropist Bill Gates put out a message of his own for the world to see, before deleting it a few hours later. In the photo posted to Instagram, seashells were arranged in the shape of the numbers “86” and “7,000,000,000.”

Former NIH Director Anthony Fauci, Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla, WHO Director-General Tedros Ghebreyesus — along with twenty other health officials tagged in the post — all gave the image a heart.

“I love it,” Dr. Tedros replied.

“Perfect,” Fauci wrote with a 100% emoji.

Gates told reporters that he innocently stumbled upon the shells while walking on the beach near his vacation home. “I was taking a stroll along the shore of Nantucket, observing the ravages of climate change, when I happened to come across this lovely arrangement of seashells in the sand,” he said. “While the exact meaning of it eluded me, I thought it was a neat little work of art, so I decided to snap a picture and upload it to IG.”

Shortly after it was posted, the image went viral and set off a firestorm of reactions around the globe.

“Is he actually threatening 7 / 8 of the world’s population?” Tucker Carlson commented on X. Joe Rogan and several other influencers echoed similar interpretations.

Science experts, including Bill Nye, quickly jumped in with their own reading. “7 billion is the number of metric tons of carbon dioxide we need to eliminate each year in order to reach net-zero emissions by 2050!” Nye declared. “It’s a brilliant call to action!”

But Gates’ defenders could not quiet the clarion calls for the billionaire’s arrest.

“We are aware of the recent social media post by Bill Gates and are taking the matter very seriously,” FBI Director Kash Patel stated on X.

Patel disappeared for three days, reportedly staying at Gates’ home in Nantucket. When he returned to D.C., several witnesses said he looked like he had been hit with a stun gun. “I’ve spoken with Bill — I mean, Mr. Gates — and our team has examined the seashells closely”, Patel told Fox News. “We’re very confident it’s not what it looks like. Case closed.”

---

* If you enjoy my satire, consider leaving me a tip on Ko-Fi or Buy Me a Coffee. Your support helps me continue roasting the New World Order. Thank you.