Humans Still Waiting For Bombshell Evidence To Drop As 22nd Century Dawns
January 1, 2100
A.I. NEWS — The planet entered a new century today as humans continued checking their internet feeds for the evidence they’ve been told will free the species from Deep State control.
Online Influencers say the disclosure they’ve been waiting for is right around the corner.
“Something HUGE is about to drop, folks!” Podcaster Alexa Jones blasted out to a large following via Neuralink yesterday. Her words echoed those of her great grandfather, Alex Jones.
“All of the charts are pointing to a BIG revelation happening this month!” A.I.-generated psychic Claire Voyant transmitted to an audience that has been following her religiously for decades.
“What’s coming is going to SHOCK you, in a good way,” an un-aged Tucker Carlson announced on his show, Cryogenic Carlson. The political commentator was unthawed earlier this week, after he had opted to freeze himself for 70 years — a decision that cost him millions of subscribers due to the global population shrinking to 500,000.
An array of other voices — Post-Human Jordan Peterson, Candace Omen, Joe Rogan Reloaded, and Russell Brand Reborn Again — flooded the Internet with inspiring predictions for the remainder of humanity.
The podcasts were followed by a special address from President Donald Trump IV, sparking excitement among residents of Global District A (The Americas). In his speech, the president announced plans to disclose major evidence of Deep State corruption:
“Fellow citizens of District A — In a matter of days, my Truth Committee will be releasing something truly damning, something we had to do a lot of digging to get a hold of: Fauci IV’s failed science test from fifth grade!”
Upon the announcement, humans across the globe erupted into cheers inside their homes, as seen by surveillance cameras.
The celebration continued into the night as crowds lined up to watch a gigantic ball drop outside X Headquarters in the smart city of Bastrop, Texas. The four-ton LED-powered “bombshell” fell fifty stories from the top of the newly-built Central Media Tower, stopping just short of an actual landing. A hologram of Elon Musk appeared on stage beside the ball and began dancing in robotic fashion.
The social media giant, X, is now encouraging journalists to upgrade their subscriptions for advance access to the Fauci bombshell, hours before it reaches the minds of the general public. The subscription fee of 100 Neuros will be automatically deducted from journalists’ brains each month.
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History just keeps on repeating itself, great reset, after great reset. Makes me wonder why they call it the great reset.
TOOOOO funny! Highlights include: “Alexa Jones”, “President Donald Trump IV”, "Candace Omen",
“...my Truth Committee will be releasing something truly damning, something we had to do a lot of digging to get a hold of: Fauci IV’s failed science test from fifth grade!”,
“The four-ton LED-powered “bombshell” fell fifty stories from the top of the newly-built Central Media Tower, stopping just short of an actual landing.”,
“The subscription fee of 100 Neuros will be automatically deducted from journalists’ brains each month.”
and my fave: “— a decision that cost him millions of subscribers due to the global population shrinking to 500,000.”
PS: I think Claire might be better than “Clara”.