Frequently Asked Questions About The New Climate Change Vaccine, Ecovax
From the Website of the Centers for Climate Control and Justice (CCC):
What is Ecovax?
Ecovax is a new vaccine developed by Pfizer as part of its Green Health initiative. It uses the latest mRNA technology to control the spread of carbon dioxide (CO2), a planet-killing pathogen transmitted through your respiratory system.
How does it work?
Once injected into your bloodstream, the mRNA particles from the vaccine travel directly to your lungs, where they deliver an eco-friendly message, instructing the cells to emit less carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.
How will I know if Ecovax is doing its job?
If you notice a heavy weight in your chest along with a much shorter exhale, this is a sign that the vaccine is working. If, on the other hand, you are still able to breathe long, selfish, air-polluting breaths, even after your injection, it’s possible you received a defective dose. To report a lack of symptoms, please contact one of our activists at: climatesupport@ccc.com.
Does Ecovax cause permanent breathing problems?
While many recipients experience some level of discomfort with their breathing, it’s important to remember that the ravaging effects of climate change are far worse. That’s why, at the Center for Climate Control, we ask all individuals to take one for the team and for the planet.
Is Ecovax approved by the F.D.A.?
At present, the vaccine is authorized for emergency use by Mother Nature. The product has also received praise from top climatologists, including Al Gore, Bill Gates, Pete Buttigieg, and Greta Thunberg. The majority of experts agree that Ecovax is safe and effective for the environment.
If the planet converts to 100% renewable energy within the next two years, will I still need to be vaccinated?
Yes. Even if our reliance on fossil fuels ends tomorrow, you will still need to be vaccinated against climate change. The latest research shows that over 90% of emissions come from ordinary, ignorant people like you, who are shamelessly breathing carbon dioxide into the air on a daily basis.
Are booster shots required?
Our activists recommend getting a booster every three to four weeks to ensure that your emissions remain low.
Where can I get vaccinated?
We currently have tens of thousands of volunteer climate injectionists stationed in every city and town across the globe. You should find one yelling and waving a needle at your local street corner. It only takes five seconds to get jabbed for the good of the planet—don’t wait!