
Global Elite Planning, LLC is a trusted leader in world domination, creating worst-in-class experiences for billions of humans for over 10,000 years. With an extensive network of sacrificial pawns in every industry and government on Earth, our reach is unlimited and inescapable.
We are currently seeking an exceptionally cold-blooded professional to help lead our rapidly growing Division & Chaos Department. The ideal candidate will have a proven track record of dividing the human population on the basis of race, nationality, class, religion, politics, sexuality, preferred pets, choice of emojis, and more. As the Division & Chaos Lead, you will work under the Chief Chaos Officer to turn harmless differences into world-class conflicts and crises. This is an exciting opportunity to make a big impact on a valuable slave planet in our portfolio.
Responsibilities
Work with an experienced team to develop conflict at every level, from the school yard to the international stage
Brainstorm ideas for viral content, such as ‘jeans’ campaigns, to spark public outrage on a daily basis
Plan innovative psyops and false flag events that get fingers pointing left and right, or at anyone besides us
Help manufacture wars, riots, and border crises as needed
Communicate with high-profile pawns at the Pentagon, BlackRock, and the World Economic Forum to ensure proper dismantling of human society
Maintain a high level of negativity globally to generate maximum loosh for the company and its interdimensional stakeholders
Requirements
Degree from an accredited satanic institution
5+ years in Controlled Opposition, Chaos Architecture or a related field
Mastery of relevant software, including Microsoft Offense and Adobe Destructive Suite
Proven ability to shape-shift and wear different hats
To apply, please send your cover letter, resume, adrenochrome requirement, and a portfolio demonstrating your ability to deliver insufferable human experiences. If your qualifications meet our standards of misery and terror, you will be contacted for an interview.
Our offices are located in the highly secure Area 52 — just a short tunnel down from Area 51. We offer a competitive benefits package that includes a 666K retirement plan, full hellcare coverage, spa treatments for scaly skin, and 4 weeks of paid time off to attend sacrificial ceremonies.

* If you enjoy my satire, consider leaving me a tip on Ko-Fi or Buy Me a Coffee. Your support helps me continue roasting the New World Order. Thank you.
EVERY current creature in public office, corporate CEOs, Bilderbergers, WEF's, IMF, NATO, Pfizer, Moderna, Rheinmetall, Rio Tinto, etc., etc. could perfectly fit your requirements.
The problem YOU have is: They're all very busy doing and implementing what your firm still plans to do ... 🤣🤣🤣
As gut-bustingly funny from start to finish as it's terrifyingly true. And speaking of Chaos, who can forget Maxwell Smart's endless attempts at thwarting Kaos...