Trump Admin Recommends Wearable Device To See Golden Age Of America
WASHINGTON, DC — U.S. Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has officially recommended a wearable device to help Americans who are struggling to see the Golden Age they’re living in.
“We’ve conducted some studies and found that the current utopia can’t easily be perceived with the naked eye,” Kennedy stated at a press conference, flanked by the President and other White House officials. “Many everyday Americans need special assistance to see it. That’s why we partnered with our good friends at Meta to develop a state-of-the-art headset.”
According to Kennedy, the wireless 6G headset has been designed to comfortably lock around citizens' heads, providing them with an uninterrupted 24/7 vision of a happy, healthy America. Sights to see include heavenly golden domed cities, President Trump sitting on a throne bathed in light and playing 5D chess, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem as the Statue of Liberty, and a glorious procession of Epstein clients and Big Pharma CEOs in orange jumpsuits and handcuffs.
So far, the product has received rave reviews from several beta testers on Facebook.
“I couldn't be happier with my Golden Age headset,” a woman from Tennessee wrote. “I was really starting to lose faith in the Plan, but now I can clearly see America is winning!”
“Before I had my vision corrected by the Trump administration, I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks,” a man from Florida commented. “I was seeing wars, riots, alligator prisons, and Big Tech taking over the planet. Now, all of that has disappeared, and I'm loving my country again!”
The Golden Age Headset can be pre-ordered through the Health and Human Services Store for only $299. Purchases are tax deductible, and the product comes with a lifetime guarantee. Ads tout the device as “indestructible” and resistant to all forms of disaster, including bombs, floods, fires, and random rocks hurled by political opponents.
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Nailed it again!
Toooo funny: "Sights to see include heavenly golden domed cities, President Trump sitting on a throne bathed in light and playing 5D chess, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem as the Statue of Liberty, and a glorious procession of Epstein clients and Big Pharma CEOs in orange jumpsuits and handcuffs."
BTW, as a general comment on the very notion of wearables, all I've got to say is, really?! As if smartphone manacles weren't enough! And of course wearables are only the halfway house to the world of implanted tech.
Aldous Huxley's drug 'Soma' gets a techy update ... A Brave New World indeed - if only people could SEE it . hmmmm ... nice post.