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New World Humor
New World Humor
Urgent Health Alert: You’re Marinating In A Giant Toxic Soup!

Urgent Health Alert: You’re Marinating In A Giant Toxic Soup!

Your Daily Holistic Scare From Dr. Alarma Twelvepenny Mercolaji

Noel Spangler's avatar
Noel Spangler
Aug 19, 2025
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New World Humor
New World Humor
Urgent Health Alert: You’re Marinating In A Giant Toxic Soup!
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An alarmed naturopathic doctor in a white coat, mouth open and hands raised in warning, delivering her health scare in front of shelves of supplements.

Chances are your cells are being destroyed as you read this newsletter. The blue light from your phone and laptop is frying your mitochondria like cheap bacon and turning your DNA into scrambled eggs.

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