We're Rocking The Boat With Our New Yacht Club
A Message to America from Elon, Peter, Larry, and the rest of the Dark MAGA gang
Have you noticed most yachts out there are white? We intend to change that. With our new jet-black yacht, The Destroyer, we’re disrupting the status quo and putting the waters around us on high alert.
The mainstream boating establishment has been set in its ways for too long. It wants to keep yachts 90% white, which is a major problem. These vessels appear clean and pure, but they’re actually full of rot.
That’s why we’re stepping in to shake things up.
Our plan is two-fold: One — buy up all the white yachts, renovate them, and turn them black. Two — acquire the major yacht makers and combine them into one super-lean yacht-making machine that churns out only black yachts. Once this is done, the yachting industry will be a whole lot better — and so will America. If you disagree, then you’ve probably been brainwashed by the Deep Sea State.
It’s no surprise that a lot of people are against us; that’s what happens when you try to overturn Big Boat. They start plotting ways to take you down.
Last night, a gang of hooligans in polo shirts and khakis set fire to one of our coolest yachts. We don’t know who they were or where they came from, but we believe they had ties to a legacy yacht club owned by George Soros.
In addition to defacing our property, they’ve hurled all sorts of names at us. The latest is neo-yachtzi. A bit desperate, don’t you think?
We won’t lie: these attacks are hurtful, but we’ve decided to not let the hate ruin our summer. Our goal is to kick this boat into high gear and cruise over any wave of resistance that gets in our way — including from the President of the United States.
Donald Trump opposes our plan to make all yachts black. He says he wants them to be gold instead. We think that’s a terrible idea — worse than his “Big Beautiful Bill” and his taste in aides. Hopefully he’ll get with the program soon. Otherwise, we may have to throw him overboard — for the good of the country. (Don’t worry, he’s orange and full of hot air, so he’ll make it to shore just fine!)
* If you enjoy my satire, consider leaving me a tip on Ko-Fi or Buy Me a Coffee. Your support helps me continue roasting the New World Order. Thank you.
Black Yachts Matter! Thanks you for finally addressing the underprivileged status of black yachts. To rectify this social injustice, I suggest you also introduce frizzy sails - I mean, it’s insulting, all these straight white sails. Frizzy would catch much more wind. And what is it with all these sleek shapes? Where’s the ample, shaking bosun, the shuddering port and starboard? And I hope there’s a decent communication system on these black yachts with a decent pair of decibel-pounding stereo speakers - who wants to listen to wind and water all day? Yawn. So typical of honky white yachts.
Another twisted, demented, and terrifically creative post! LMAO. This is perfect: "neo-yachtzi." I hope the terms goes viral...and for all the right reasons.