Trump Announces He Struck Deal With Giant Comet, Ensuring It Safely Passes Earth

WORLD NEWS — In a recent post on Truth Social, President Donald Trump stated that he had convinced the comet 3I/ATLAS to change course and save our planet from an apocalyptic collision.

According to Trump, the extraterrestrial body was originally headed straight toward Earth. But after what he described as “a massive feat of diplomacy,” he was able to steer it in a different direction.

“I’ve just made the biggest deal in the history of our solar system — quite possibly, the entire galaxy,” he bragged. “But the fake scientists on the lamestream media refuse to acknowledge what I’ve done. Very sad.”

Trump said he managed to set up a Zoom call with the comet while it was moving at 100,000 miles per hour. Despite the blurry image and unstable connection, he considered it a better call than anything he’d experienced with NATO.

“It told me it was traveling from a distant planet and needed a place to crash,” Trump reported. “I put an end to that idea fairly quickly.”

The president emphasized that he was extremely firm with the comet and wouldn’t allow Earth to be treated like “some cheap rock in the middle of nowhere.”

“It was about to do a very, very bad thing to us, and I said ‘No, you can’t do that.’ This is the Earth we’re talking about — a planet worth trillions and trillions of dollars,” he posted. “Sure, it may have some not so nice people on it, like the Democrats, the cartels, and the BBC, but it’s a terrific piece of astronomical real estate… unlike 3I, which no one had even heard of until three months ago.”

Trump said the comet had some balls and fired back a few times, but ultimately it caved at the negotiating table. Under the final agreement, the comet will spare Earth from annihilation in exchange for providing visas to six million aliens seeking employment.

“It’s a great deal for us,” Trump said. “All of those little green men are going to make our economy strong again.”

While the White House has redacted the full terms of the agreement for national security reasons, it says everything will become clear to the public by 2030.

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