Take A Moment To Complete Our Customer Dissatisfaction Survey

Here at Global Elite Planning, LLC, we strive to create unforgettable, worst-in-class experiences for billions of ordinary humans. That’s why your feedback is important to us. Please take a moment out of your otherwise useless existence to complete this brief one minute survey.

---

How dissatisfied are you with your experience on Earth?

1 – Slightly Dissatisfied

2 – Somewhat Dissatisfied

3 – Dissatisfied

4 – Very Dissatisfied

5 – Horrified

---

Have the following issues been successfully unresolved to your dissatisfaction?

WAR                                          ○ Yes       ○ No

DISEASE                                   ○ Yes       ○ No

POVERTY                                 ○ Yes       ○ No

ADDICTION                              ○ Yes       ○ No

CORRUPTION                          ○ Yes       ○ No

INEQUALITY                             ○ Yes       ○ No

CIVIL UNREST                          ○ Yes       ○ No

HUMAN TRAFFICKING           ○ Yes       ○ No

AUTHORITARIANISM              ○ Yes       ○ No

EXISTENTIAL DREAD              ○ Yes       ○ No

YOUR CABLE BILL                   ○ Yes       ○ No

---

How would you rate our lack of responsiveness to humanitarian crises?

1 – Slightly Unresponsive

2 – Somewhat Unresponsive

3 – Unresponsive

4 – Very Unresponsive

5 – Exceptionally Careless

---

Is our control over all aspects of your life handled professionally?

○ Yes       ○ No       ○ Not sure

---

Would you recommend us to a race of slaves on another planet?

○ Yes       ○ No       ○ Already did

---

Would you like to upgrade to our Premium Suffering Plan?

○ Yes       ○ No       ○ Already subscribed

---

What, if anything, could be worse?

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

---

* If you enjoy my satire, consider leaving me a tip on Ko-Fi or Buy Me a Coffee. Your support helps me continue roasting the New World Order. Thank you.