By residing on Earth, a registered asset of Global Elite Planning, LLC, you consent to the terms and conditions below:
Property Rights
You agree that all of Earth’s resources, materials, landmarks, inhabitants, and underground secrets are the exclusive property of Global Elite Planning, LLC. Furthermore, you acknowledge the company’s right to modify, transform, or reset the planet at any time, to suit the tastes of its shareholders.
Acceptable Use of the Planet
Unless otherwise directed, you agree to use Earth solely for four essential human activities — consuming, eliminating, texting, and scrolling.
In certain instances, a company representative may ask you to perform additional functions, such as trafficking or sacrificing. You agree to fulfill these requests to the best of your ability.
Liability
You acknowledge that Global Elite Planning, LLC is not responsible for any harm that may result from manufactured wars, false flag attacks, pandemics, lockdowns, environmental toxins, food and drug poisoning, AI apocalypse, poor plastic surgery, or any other problem that occurs on the planet.
Privacy
You have none.
Unannounced Updates
These terms may change at any time without notice. Your continued presence on Earth constitutes acceptance of all revisions and updates, some of which may be installed overnight while you sleep.
Termination & Re-Direction
Global Elite Planning, LLC reserves the right to terminate your existence at its sole discretion. If you are a celebrity, politician, or other human of influence, you further grant the company’s employees and affiliates the right to inhabit your body and steer it to meet quarterly objectives.
Governing Law
All disputes shall be arbitrated before the Supreme Court of Satan and His Royal Heinous, Lord Baal.
□ I have not read the terms and conditions above, but I trust that Global Elite Planning, LLC has thought everything through, and I agree to comply with whatever is written.
* All of my satire is conceived and written with a human mind. If you enjoy what I do, consider leaving me a tip on Ko-Fi or Buy Me a Coffee. Your support helps me continue roasting the New World Order. Thank you.
It's SO spot on that it's threatening to make the leap from satire to dystopic horror.
Great job, as always. Now come clean ... these ARE actual "terms and conditions" that you somehow got your hands on, right?
Well, that's a dampener on writing a response when One has to go back to the email to get a code... Anyway...
I know that if We were born here, We own a share of OUR planet's wealth. If this was not true, They, the moneyed psychopaths in control on Our planet (by virtue of money), would not bother putting Our shares into Cestui Que Vie "trusts" that They control.
Humor or no, I want My share returned!
Still, this had Me laughing a lot! I wouldn't consent to it if It were true, though... Haha!
Trusts: The Big Heist Against Humanity (article): https://amaterasusolar.substack.com/p/trusts-the-big-heist-against-humanity