WASHINGTON, DC — U.S. Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has officially recommended a wearable device to help Americans who are struggling to see the Golden Age they’re living in.
Toooo funny: "Sights to see include heavenly golden domed cities, President Trump sitting on a throne bathed in light and playing 5D chess, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem as the Statue of Liberty, and a glorious procession of Epstein clients and Big Pharma CEOs in orange jumpsuits and handcuffs."
BTW, as a general comment on the very notion of wearables, all I've got to say is, really?! As if smartphone manacles weren't enough! And of course wearables are only the halfway house to the world of implanted tech.
The cool thing about the Golden Age Headset is that it also has a setting where users can experience a drunken Zelenskyy and Putin trading shots of Nemiroff Vodka, arm-in-arm, singing traditional folk songs like 'What a Moonlit Night', with Trump providing musical accompaniment on a balalaika.
Secretary Kennedy also announced an exciting add-on to the existing wearables which would soon be released, called Oh Happiness. This add-on will enable wearers to see themselves in mirrors and reflecting surfaces as sexy and forever young. Women will see other women as fat and wrinkly, thus boosting their self-esteem and eliminate the need for binge-eating and dangerous drugs like Ozempic. Men and women will see each others’ true characters regardless of outer appearances, thus leading them to choose more harmonious mates. It is foreseen that the divorce rate will greatly decrease. An additional high-tech development is in the works: all photographic equipment will have mandatory filters to remove fat, wrinkles, unpleasant facial features and short male statures. The President himself hailed these new developments as “Paradise reclaimed”.
I especially *appreciate*😉 the AI photo featuring a "female" that is clearly a biological male hybridized with a cobra.
I see the masculine double Adam's apple in the snake-like neck (did "she" swallow something "she" couldn't choke down?!?!. Also there are the male clavicles and mandibles on what looks like a six-year-old castrato boy who has fake perky boobs.Gross!
Nailed it again!
Toooo funny: "Sights to see include heavenly golden domed cities, President Trump sitting on a throne bathed in light and playing 5D chess, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem as the Statue of Liberty, and a glorious procession of Epstein clients and Big Pharma CEOs in orange jumpsuits and handcuffs."
BTW, as a general comment on the very notion of wearables, all I've got to say is, really?! As if smartphone manacles weren't enough! And of course wearables are only the halfway house to the world of implanted tech.
Right on. Thanks, R.P. Poet!
Aldous Huxley's drug 'Soma' gets a techy update ... A Brave New World indeed - if only people could SEE it . hmmmm ... nice post.
Thanks, nice analogy. One of my favorite novels.
The cool thing about the Golden Age Headset is that it also has a setting where users can experience a drunken Zelenskyy and Putin trading shots of Nemiroff Vodka, arm-in-arm, singing traditional folk songs like 'What a Moonlit Night', with Trump providing musical accompaniment on a balalaika.
LOL 😂 😂
Get yours now! Use promo code: TheresNoClientList and get 1776% Off!
Have you heard from the Bee, yet? They're gonna want to hire you.
🎯
Trump playing 5-D chess? Even Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk could only handle 3-D chess. This Golden Age sure is something!
This has so much export potential. The governments of the world would love this.
Secretary Kennedy also announced an exciting add-on to the existing wearables which would soon be released, called Oh Happiness. This add-on will enable wearers to see themselves in mirrors and reflecting surfaces as sexy and forever young. Women will see other women as fat and wrinkly, thus boosting their self-esteem and eliminate the need for binge-eating and dangerous drugs like Ozempic. Men and women will see each others’ true characters regardless of outer appearances, thus leading them to choose more harmonious mates. It is foreseen that the divorce rate will greatly decrease. An additional high-tech development is in the works: all photographic equipment will have mandatory filters to remove fat, wrinkles, unpleasant facial features and short male statures. The President himself hailed these new developments as “Paradise reclaimed”.
Haha
Let's all just slip into Meta Land and enjoy the reality that's being manufactured for us... NOT!
Great piece, once again!
I especially *appreciate*😉 the AI photo featuring a "female" that is clearly a biological male hybridized with a cobra.
I see the masculine double Adam's apple in the snake-like neck (did "she" swallow something "she" couldn't choke down?!?!. Also there are the male clavicles and mandibles on what looks like a six-year-old castrato boy who has fake perky boobs.Gross!
Thanks for mocking the mainstreamed madness!
LOL thanks!
"Make" america healthy again. Is that an order???
Now you know why they're called track pants - and sneakers.
😉😂
Sooo good. Thank you.
Thank you 🙏
So brilliant I need shades! The Trump worshipers will be very happy!
Brilliant. :)
Thanks, Jenna 🙏🏻
Not in my world. This is a nonstarter
Omg, hilarious. 😄
Thanks, Kirsten!