Archive - New World Humor

In Defense of Sun Dimming: A New York Times Editorial By Count Dracula

As a concerned global citizen who has been intently following the news from his subterranean lair, I have observed a most disappointing trend.

Jul 31 •

Trump Admin Recommends Wearable Device To See Golden Age Of America

WASHINGTON, DC — U.S. Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has officially recommended a wearable device to help Americans who are struggling to see…

Jul 15 •

June 2025

We're Rocking The Boat With Our New Yacht Club

A Message to America from Elon, Peter, Larry, and the rest of the Dark MAGA gang

Jun 30 •

Biometric Dating: A Safer Way To Find Love

Palantir Dating™ offers a secure, government-facilitated experience using full-body scans and AI matchmaking technology. Now screening singles every…

Jun 16 •

May 2025

Seashell Message From Bill Gates Causes A Stir Among Global Population

U.S. NEWS — In a stunning display of seashells that makes the work of James Comey look like child’s play, billionaire-philanthropist Bill Gates put out…

May 26 •

and

New World Humorist

A Journey Into The Real ID Twilight Zone With ChatGPT

It all started with a harmless question about my flight.

May 14 •

and

New World Humor Editor

April 2025

Take A Moment To Complete Our Customer Dissatisfaction Survey

Here at Global Elite Planning, LLC, we strive to create unforgettable, worst-in-class experiences for billions of ordinary humans.

Apr 22 •

Manufacturers Sue RFK Jr.’s Health Department For Discrimination Against Foods of Color

U.S. NEWS — Over twenty Big Food Manufacturers, including Kellogg, Kraft and General Mills, have filed a class action lawsuit against the Department of…

Apr 6 •

March 2025

February 2025

URGENT: 7 Vital Government Agencies Are About To Be Demolished

An Emergency Message from the Congressional Office for Bureaucratic Preservation

Feb 25 •

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